Mom: Back so soon? I thought you were going to get ice cream after the movie?
Hannah: MOMMY THEY’RE DEAD! THEY’RE ALL DEAD!
Mom: What? What happened?!
Dad: It’s ok, she’s ok, no one is dead. The uh, the movie was just a little more.. intense than we thought it-
Hannah: WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE MOMMY? I DON’T WANT THEM TO DIE!!!
Mom: I don’t understand, I thought it was an animated kids’ movie!
Dad: Yeah I uh, sort of skipped the reviews. Turns out it was less Toy Story, and more like Animal Farm meets Schindler’s List.
Mom: Oh no.
Hannah: MUH MUH MUH-
Dad: Yeah.
Hannah: MUH-MOMMY!!! WHERE’S NEMO? I CAN’T FIND NEMO!!
Mom: Um, so really bad timing, but-
Dad: What?
Mom: -I sort of killed Nemo. I moved the table and knocked the bowl over and Nemo flopped out and went right under the bed and by the time I got to him.. it was too late.
Hannah: DADDY!! MOMMY!! WHERE’S NEMO?! I CAN’T FIND HIM!! IS HE DEAD?! IS EVERYBODY GOING TO DIE?! AM I GOING TO DIE?! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!!
Mom: …
Dad: …
Hannah: EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE!!! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! WHY?! WHY?!
Dad: Please tell me there’s still vodka in the freezer.
Mom: I’m already two drinks ahead of you.