“I’m scared of everything. Everything scares me.”
“What sorts of things?”
“All the things! Ebola, gluten, pitbulls, vaccinations, guns, Democrats, anti-vaxxers, ebola, hurricanes, GMOs, black people, fracking, sugar, birth control, sugar substitute, feminists, Republicans, brown people, drones, ISIS, Libertarians, gay marriage, cancer, marijuana, riots. Oh and Restless Leg Syndrome!”
“Why are you afraid of these things?”
“The people on the news and on the internet tell me to be! I’m so scared I wouldn’t even leave my house except I have to go buy the things to protect me.”
“The things the people on the news and internet tell me to buy to be safe.”
“Don’t you think that maybe they’re just scaring you so you’ll buy things?”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that..