Thursday, April 09, 2009
Escape Goats
No one is sure when it started, just that the escape goats were always there.
It's 2009, and an Australian cattle dog is washing ashore on an almost deserted island.
It's 2025, and they're evacuating the oxygen from the capsule, while it breaks up around them.
The island goats knew the dog couldn't survive on its own, raised on kibble and couches. So they sent the littlest ones to go feed it. At first the dog only wanted to play with them, and wasn't yet hungry. So they played. It took almost a week, before the starving dog finally gave in, and began eating her playmates. Finally, the goats thought.
The astronaut knew he was in trouble when the klaxon sounded, and the goats deployed. They quickly got the fires under control, helped get his helmet on, and attempted to correct the decaying orbit. Thrusters were sluggish, even after they chewed through the trim cables. They had no choice but to abandon ship, for the cold vacuum of space. Their blood would boil within seconds, but the astronaut would survive.
It's 1967, and a Russian submarine is going down in the Bering Sea, sinking to a hull-crushing two miles below the surface.
And the escape goats are there.
