Friday, September 14, 2007
A Modest Proposal.
General Spike Alvarez unveiled the new plan at a morning press conference. From his statement:
"Recent events illustrate that Americans are scared. Scared of anyone who appears to be of Arab descent. Average Americans have demonstrated that they simply can not separate how someone appears, from how they are expected to act. If they see an Arab American, they see a terrorist, Plain and simple. This in itself, is a form of terrorism. These individuals may not intend to cause terror, but they do just the same, simply by walking around in public. So to keep the peace, we've decided to round them up, and house them in these temporary facilities. They are not imprisoned. Let me make this very clear; this is not a prison. The tenants are free to go wherever they please. Within the confines of the compounds.
We're calling it Operation: Peace of Mind. These new gated communities are located in a variety of secure locations across the country. Unlike the inelegant system in place during the 1940's, these facilities are state-of-the-art, resort-like communities. They are not "camps". We're talking swimming pools, gymnasiums, golf courses are going in. Really swank.
Operationally, there are approximately two and half million Arab-Americans living in the U.S. But we've planned housing for four million, taking into account the inclusion of at least one million Indian and Pakistani Americans. Our focus groups indicated strong confusion whether or not these people were also Arab, so we decided to err on the side of caution.
Operation: Peace of Mind will continue for as long as Americans feel fear around people who appear Arab. We have a congressional review of the policy every 18 months. So some time in the future, it's possible that Americans won't be so fearful of Arab-appearing citizens, that they get them thrown off commercial aircraft for speaking Arabic. Maybe someday they won't be so automatically suspicious of Arab men that they launch national manhunts for taking pictures on a ferry.
However. Until that time, it is our goal, and responsibility, not only to keep Americans safe. But to keep Americans feeling safe.
Ok, I'll take questions now."
