Sunday, July 15, 2007
Transformer. Decepticon. Dick
2011. Washington - Dick Cheney was found dead in his Vermont vacation home, victim of an apparent gunshot wound to the head. Circumstances surrounding his death have not been publicly released, but privately several government sources, under condition of anonymity, have revealed that it appears to have been a suicide.
Dick Cheney, Vice President for most of President George W. Bush's two Presidential terms, was impeached by the U.S. Congress in Spring of 2008. He is the first Vice President in U.S. history to be subject to impeachment. It was a near-unanimous vote in both the House and the Senate. Only Joe Lieberman, (D/R/I Connecticut), abstained.
Cheney soon after suffered a series of devestating personal and legal setbacks as a result of his arrogant adherence to secrecy and self interests.
78-year-old Harry Whittington, whom Cheney shot in the face early in 2006, revealed in a 2009 memoir that his life, and the lives of his wife and children, was directly threatened by Cheney in his hospital room, if he didn't help Cheney spin the shooting positively. Whittington soon after publicly apologize to Cheney for the grief the shooting had caused him. Cheney was indicted on attempted murder charges as a result of Whittington's memoir.
Months after the new Democratic Presidency began, Halliburton came under multiple Congressional Committee scrutiny, culminating in an unprecedented flurry of hearings, the entirety if its assets frozen, board disbanded, and ultimately bankruptcy and insolvency. With virtually all of Cheney's personal wealth stemming from Halliburton stock and deferred salary from his time as CEO, these events essentially bankrupted the former Vice President.
Congressional Oversight discovered Cheney was responsible for running and then covering up several covert military operations, none sanctioned by the President or Congress. However ahead of any actions by Congress, the Hague was months away from convening War Crimes Trials for Cheney's roles in the Iraq War, Afghanistan Military Conflict, and a large number of secret prisons and torture centers globally. The star witness, former President George W. Bush, was expected to appear with damning testimony revealing years of misdeeds. President Bush had received limited immunity in exchange for his testimony. This immunity would not affect his current incarceration for the 165 consecutive life sentences he must serve for his high crimes.
Due to the national disgrace over Dick Cheney's shameful actions, there will be no public funeral. In lieu of sending hate-mail or bags of dog-feces, the family prefers that donations in be made to the Veteran's Administration and the Red Cross.
End fantasy simulation.
